This idea of feedback continues to be on my mind. The more I read and think about feedback, the more I am convinced that the saying, “It’s not what we say, it’s how we say it” is so true.
At the end of the day, the outcome is still the same: To help the receiver of the feedback get better at something.
However, if the person doesn’t receive the feedback because of the way we say it, will the feedback actually help? Maybe for the short-term because the receiver may make changes to be compliant.
But, that kind of change doesn’t last long. It’s like a fad diet where you are “all in” to quickly lose a set amount of weight. You follow all the “rules”. You don’t really understand the “why”, you just do it. But, that gets old. You miss whatever you’ve deprived yourself of and the old habit of eating ice cream late at night resumes (or is that just me?). In other words, you complied.
Change that eventually becomes the way we do business is grounded in commitment. It takes time. It takes an understanding of the why.
So, back to feedback. If we focus on framing our feedback on the strengths, it makes me wonder:
Will the receiver lean in and listen?
Will the receiver be more likely to commit vs. comply?
Will the change eventually become the “way we do business”?
The best way to know is to give it a try using the simple feedback method as your frame:
Let’s lean in and focus on the strengths vs. the weaknesses and see what happens.